Invisibility

1.

they call them the ‘wee’ hours,
but when enveloped in their dark cover
one breathes the severed solitude of  the ‘I’
the bed creaks under my rustle and turn

a dog barks in the neighborhood,
sharp spears of sound  pierce the night.
do keen ears detect an intruder?
perhaps he fears invisibility,
dreads disappearing into the inky gloom
and is announcing to the universe
a confirmation of his existence –
‘I bark therefore I am’

I fight the urge to open the window
stick out my head and
join my canine friend in primal cry

2.

I step forward gingerly to pass the young man
who has suddenly, and abruptly halted his gait.
his eyes sucked downward in channeled focus,
he thumbs frantically on the video screen that
flashes like a tiny beacon in his hands.
“shit!” he mutters under his breath as he
lifts his arms in “why me?” gesture,
and with deliberate sigh of exasperation
spins a quick quarter turn into my torso,
knocking me back on my heels.
“watch it!” I shout
the human connection takes him by surprise.
“huh! oh!.. sorry , man!”
a momentary break before being drawn
like a magnet back to his phone
as I move on.

3.

her eyes looking elsewhere
the female clerk performs the transaction
and stretches out her arm to hand me my change.
she pours the motley assortment
of coins into my palm,
all the while flirting with a male co-worker.
‘thanks.’  I say. ‘have a good one.’
‘that’s so cool !’ she says to the guy,
‘no way!’

4.

909 booming from a hot shot  wagon
hi hat hissing and snarling like a dragon
filling the available air with a sound
whose intention is to wrestle all ears to the ground
white boys digging on a groove they think is baddass
‘if you don’t like it, brah, then move your little sad ass!’
a male voice enters with a rhyme and a rant
like machine gun fire in monotonous chant
and with a slant that aims to inform and to wow us
with his mean street credentials and his sexual prowess
I’m waiting at the stop light, and rolling up the window
there ain’t no escaping from the sound that’s gettin’ in, though
boom boom kack – ka boom boom kack
’til the car peels out to leave me in its tracks
hey, I’m just a captive stretched out on a sonic rack
boom boom kack – ka boom boom kack…

5.

like children walking single file
we weave across the restaurant  floor
following the young maitre die who
cradles a stack of menus to her breast.
she swings around to flash a smile
as her eyes turn downward to empty table,
her free arm inviting us to be seated

a brown skinned man takes one last swipe
with wet rag over table top
as a second busboy falls in with place settings
the waitress arrives to announce her name
and recite her sing song litany
of  daily specials and high priced drinks
menus unfold like a circle of birds
extending their wings and eyes begin scanning
printed page as conversation commences

I lean in get the drift when suddenly behind me –
a startling explosion of laughter –
I turn to sneak a quick glance
the party… already two shots of alcohol ahead
and apparently working on a third,
erupts again in a double decibel guffaw
that only my left ear will register.
yes, after twenty-five years
of diminishing… bit by bit…
my right ear has nearly given up the ghost.
stereo sound is a distant memory.
yet, like a deep subterranean river
the music is always moving through my mind.
I mouth a little prayer… “Please…
“Let my good ear be spared.”

I think of poor Ludwig and his torment.
how he must have suffered.
his fingers penetrating the keys
in vain. unable to hear the  echo
of  his soul… the joyous rapture…
the agonizing heartbreak …
but somehow finding strength to continue –
ideas flowing from brain to open air
the beauty of his inner life
shared with the world..

someone is addressing me with laughing eyes
I struggle to hear the speaker above the cacophony
of  clanging dishes and ringing dinner ware
the oscillating waves swirl chaotically in my head
I lean in with my good side.
no, still not understanding…
“I’m sorry?” I say.
the friendly question is repeated.
I attempt to decipher the telegraphy of  moving lips
but the light is low,
my eyes are no longer sharp,
I do not make out the pristine outline
Christ! I can’t ask her to again repeat.
instead I flash a foolish smile
and bob my head knowingly,
hoping my fakery gets me through
the moment undiscovered

the sonic swell begins to settle
into a steady stream of white sound
like distant waves breaking on the surf
and I feel myself melting away…
I tune out…
adrift in a cool liquid world
horizon to horizon… not another soul…
floating in a sea green stillness…

embracing my own invisibility